Something happened when I was in 3rd grade. I don't remember what it was. I was pulled out of the school I was going to and put into a new school where they tested me every day and had me sit with a counselor. I have been going to a private boys school called Mount Providence in Normandy MO. The new school had the name Grace in it but I do not think it was a normal school. I only went there for a few months. I remember they had atomically correct dolls to play with. Naked dolls. They also had big mirrors in the classrooms. If the light was right you could see through them and there was a room with people on the other side. I liked to see if I could jump over to them and cup my hands around my eyes and watch them try to hide. I realize now that teachers do not all wear white smocks like they did there. One of the last meetings I had there was with my counselor and my parents I remember him saying that in his opinion I could live in normal society but never really be a part of normal society. Now when you had a self image with that label you might just have a different life than every one else you know.
It was also in my 3rd grade year that my teacher at Mt. Providence told us that we all had to be individuals. If you have ever seen a group of 8 year old boys with their shirts untucked, shoes untied and zippers down you will know what she was trying to do. It was the colors of our time...
Anyway I thought, if every one is trying to be different, to really be different, I should try to be the same. I should try to be like everyone else and that would make me the only one doing that so I would be the different one. I guess it worked I got thrown in a stupid school where I was told I could kind of fit in.
Now here's the good part. I read. I read a lot. I read about people that change the world. People don't write a lot about people that don't change the world. These people are different. They seem to operate in society but are never really part of it. They change it. There is also a real big revolution of everyday people protesting the top 1% here in the US. I have to laugh at them because I know they never go outside of the US and they don't realize they are all part of the top 3% of the world. I wonder if the top 1% have ever been told that they can operate in society but never be part of it. I believe the protesters would have been called "the Mob" in Rome.
To wrap up this morning I was told once there are 2 types of people and the same water that hardens a egg will soften a carrot. Meaning in a boiling situation some hearts will harden against the world and some will soften. I believe there is a 3rd type. A coffee bean. They just change the water.
So in summery, I have tried to be like everyone else only to be different, I can survive in Society but will never be a part. I might actually be in the top 1% of the world and I may also be a coffee bean,
My self image is pretty secure and it is time for a refill.
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