Two creams and no sugar please.

Something happened when I was in 3rd grade. I don't remember what it was. I was pulled out of the school I was going to and put into a new school where they tested me every day and had me sit with a counselor. I have been going to a private boys school called Mount Providence in Normandy MO. The new school had the name Grace in it but I do not think it was a normal school. I only went there for a few months. I remember they had atomically correct dolls to play with. Naked dolls. They also had big mirrors in the classrooms. If the light was right you could see through them and there was a room with people on the other side. I liked to see if I could jump over to them and cup my hands around my eyes and watch them try to hide. I realize now that teachers do not all wear white smocks like they did there. One of the last meetings I had there was with my counselor and my parents I remember him saying that in his opinion I could live in normal society but never really be a part of normal society. Now when you had a self image with that label you might just have a different life than every one else you know.

It was also in my 3rd grade year that my teacher at Mt. Providence told us that we all had to be individuals. If you have ever seen a group of 8 year old boys with their shirts untucked, shoes untied and zippers down you will know what she was trying to do. It was the colors of our time...

Anyway I thought, if every one is trying to be different, to really be different, I should try to be the same. I should try to be like everyone else and that would make me the only one doing that so I would be the different one. I guess it worked I got thrown in a stupid school where I was told I could kind of fit in.

Now here's the good part. I read. I read a lot. I read about people that change the world. People don't write a lot about people that don't change the world. These people are different. They seem to operate in society but are never really part of it. They change it. There is also a real big revolution of everyday people protesting the top 1% here in the US. I have to laugh at them because I know they never go outside of the US and they don't realize they are all part of the top 3% of the world. I wonder if the top 1% have ever been told that they can operate in society but never be part of it. I believe the protesters would have been called "the Mob" in Rome.

To wrap up this morning I was told once there are 2 types of people and the same water that hardens a egg will soften a carrot. Meaning in a boiling situation some hearts will harden against the world and some will soften. I believe there is a 3rd type. A coffee bean. They just change the water.

So in summery, I have tried to be like everyone else only to be different, I can survive in Society but will never be a part. I might actually be in the top 1% of the world and I may also be a coffee bean,

My self image is pretty secure and it is time for a refill.

Once a Day

I guess it was about 20 years ago it started. For even a while before that I would use New Years Eve as a time to create resolutions to do throughout the year. These where always different from others resolutions where other people seem to want to give something up or start a new habit. My resolution were things I was going to do sometime in the up coming year. This particular year I was going to read the Bible. I didn't want to take to big a jump so I got the New Testiment only Bible in in Year. It's about a third the size of the whole Bible. It started me on a regiment of reading every day. I remember how excited I was when on December 31 a year later When I actually finished it.

The next year it was the entire Bible and once again I finished it in a year.

The next year I heard that there were 31 Proverbs and 31 day in certain months so I started reading a Proverb a month. I did that every day for that year.

The next year I started reading a chapter a month. I have been doing that now for about 20 years. Mostly business books and Biographies. Once or twice a year I will pick up a fictional story. I guess I have read 20-30 books a year for about 20 years.

A few months ago I reread Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I have decided that I will reread a chapter a day till the end of the year. I will supplement it with bio's only. One of the things in PS is that you need to remind yourself of past success's and not failures so in my journal I have ended each daily entry with a positive reminded from my past.

This morning my ASM, (read all about it) suggested that I blog my success's. I think that's a good idea. I really would not like to be remembered for my failure's. Beside's there might not be enough space on the web for those. So.

I  was on the set of Nashville last week and I received a text from a client Julie S. at the Monroe Harding Foster Care center. I had done their Summer Carnival a couple weeks earlier. While there she had said they were having trouble finding Faster Families. I mentioned that I was on the board at MADD and since these are parents that have lost kids to drunk divers maybe they could set up a table at the MADD walk in a few weeks? I am on the logistics team for that event also. She said in her text that she had been accepted as a table for the Upcoming MADD event.

The next text was from the Chair at MADD and the text thanked me for recommending Monroe Harding. She said it may be a great way to bring healing to the Parents who have suffered such a great loss.

As I read the text I said in my outer voice "Wow, I'm so cool." That was overheard by a couple people who didn't know me. When I realized how arrogant that sounded I had to tell them the whole story. After I did told them I said I was saying it because of the way things where working out and that I was not cool but this event I was orchestrating was. One lady stopped me and said, "No I agree. You are cool."

Well Okay if you must think so?